


San Junipero

by hanijima



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BaekSu, Bittersweet Ending, Black Mirror!AU, I'm Sorry, M/M, SuBaek, brief mentions of sex, i guess, implied!euthanasia, kinda sad, past!krisbaek bcs im trash like that, terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 19:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12306171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanijima/pseuds/hanijima
Summary: Junmyeon is just supposed to pass by like a tourist. Now he wants to stay forever.





	San Junipero

**Author's Note:**

> fic inspired by black mirror season 3 episode 4, and title taken from the episode name. i advise you to look it up after reading the fic to not spoil yourself hahaha
> 
> warning: it's been a really /really/ long time since i've written fic and this is just... an impulse fic written at 2am. (unbetad) will probably beta tomorrow or later heh

 

 

The first step Junmyeon takes off the bus and he’s already apprehensive of the whole ordeal. His nurses had suggested he visit San Junipero, the best place for escape, and just the word escape made his heart beat faster. But now that he’s looking at all the flashing lights and people milling around running and walking to places with destinations in mind, it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t belong.

A pretty lady brushes past him, her dress pink and flowing and his eyes follow her as she vanishes into a darkened club. He didn’t have a specific agenda in mind when he came over, but sure, drinking wouldn’t be a bad start. He still had 5 hours left anyway.

The bar isn’t as full as Junmyeon thought it would be. It’s nice. The bartender is nice. Doesn’t ask a lot of questions, let’s Junmyeon people watch with his apple martini. He’s probably perched on his spot at the bar for a good couple of hours when a someone slides into the vacant seat next to him. 

“Hey, Minseok. Vodka on the rocks for me this time.” Junmyeon looks over, curiously. The bartender, Minseok pours him a drink without even flinching. “Thanks.”

“Baekhyun!” Someone calls out, and the stranger, probably Baekhyun, next to him flinches. He looks at Junmyeon with a toothy grin but there’s a bit of panic in his glinting eyes. 

“Hey, can you help me out here? I really don’t want to talk to that guy.” He watches the grin turn into a pout and Junmyeon has always been a sucker for cute things. Junmyeon nods. “Just go along with what I say.”

When the other man finally reaches them, he slings an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Hey, Baekhyun! It’s good to see you!” He’s tall, taller than Junmyeon’s favourite nurse. The height isn’t the only intimidating thing about him, it’s also the way his eyes are squinting as he looks Junmyeon over. “Wanna come over to my place? We still have a few hours left! I can make it worth your while just like last week.”

“Oh you see, I’m catching up with a friend here. Has cancer. Doctor says he has eight months left.” Baekhyun slips his hand into Junmyeon’s and gives it a light squeeze. Even though it’s a new thing for Junmyeon, it isn’t exactly bad. Junmyeon forces himself to smile, apology on the tip of his tongue when the man beats him to it.

“That’s… awful. I guess, I’ll see you around then, Baekhyun?” He looks hopeful, his smile faltering but his eyes on Baekhyun don’t.

“No. Don’t come looking for me, honey.” Baekhyun waves him off, as the man dejectedly walks away. Baekhyun lets Junmyeon’s hand go to take a sip of his drink. 

“One night stand?” Junmyeon asks before he can stop himself. “Sorry, you don’t need to answer.”

“It’s fine. He was. We met at the stupid bar outside of town, don’t worry about it. Sometimes people can’t take a hint.” There’s a grin on his face again, and it looks genuine to Junmyeon this time that he smiles back. “Name’s Baekhyun.”

“Junmyeon.”

“So Junmyeon, you passing by?” Baekhyun orders the same drink he has, and turns slightly to give Junmyeon a nice look at the mole on his upper lip. There’s something captivating about Baekhyun. Maybe it’s his clothes, or maybe it’s his makeup. But it’s probably the way he carries himself, like he’s made a home for himself in this body. He feels like he’s someone who belongs here. Not like Junmyeon.

“No, this… I’m not sure. This is my first time here.” He fiddles with the sleeves of his sweater, it’s supposed to feel soft and warm just like he used to remember but it doesn’t feel like anything at that exact moment. 

Baekhyun hums around his drink. He sees Minseok regard them with a look before ducking and wiping down the other side of the bar. “You’re a tourist then.” He says, surely. Baekhyun seems to find it amusing, that he’s a tourist. Maybe Baekhyun lives here. “The sweater kind of gives it away. Don’t worry, it’s cute. Just like you. Not like a lot of people here. People here try to fit in too much. But most of them are just tourists, looking for escape. It’s not so bad to be a tourist. But it’s kinda off putting if you try too hard to be something you’re really not.”

Baekhyun is rambling and he’s leaning in to Junmyeon’s space, his knees bumping into Junmyeon’s and oh wow, he’s never done anything like this. Gotten close to someone like this, but he so badly wants to know Baekhyun, solve the mystery and know the promise behind his eyes .

“Do you want me to show you around? We could have fun.” Baekhyun’s hand is on his knee now and Junmyeon panics. “We still have time. I can make it quick too.”

Junmyeon shakes his head. He can feel his hands tremble and sweat. “Next time?” Baekhyun asks with a grin still on his face. 

Next time? Next time? “Baekhyun, I’ve never done anything like this.”

“It’s fine. I can help you out. You’ve probably been with a girl before, right? It’s almost exactly the same.” He shrugs, then he laughs a little. “Unless you just don’t want to get to that part then it’s fine, really.”

Junmyeon flushes red, and hangs his head low. Baekhyun’s hand is still on his knee, an oddly comforting warmth despite it causing the panic in the first place. “I’m.. that’s not what I mean. I’m sorry. People are looking.” Junmyeon focuses on his margarita in order to avoid looking at Baekhyun, to avoid the feeling of being watched. It’s too much for him right now.

“Okay, see you sometimes, Junmyeon. Don’t be a stranger.” He only looks up when the warmth on his knee disappears along with Baekhyun.

 

 

 

ONE WEEK LATER

 

Junmyeon tries to dress up a bit this time before heading to the bar. He’s wearing his favourite pink cotton sweater and hopes it’d be a good look on him. Minseok smiles at him when he returns to the bar, a drink mixed and ready for him. The crowd never thins in the place. Although he doesn’t recognize much of the people, there’s a certain familiarity to them as they drink, laugh, and dance to their heart’s content.

“There’s an arcade to the left of the pool tables, you should check them out.” Minseok suggests. “It’ll stop you from looking like a lonely weirdo here.”

“You really think I’m a weirdo? Is it the sweater?” Minseok laughs at him, clearing his empty glass and slides over another one. 

He doesn’t hear Minseok’s reply when he spots Baekhyun in the flurry of people inside the place. He makes his way through the dance floor and stops when he sees Baekhyun occupied with a girl on his lap. Junmyeon stares at them and watches the way he touches her softly, a hand on the back of her neck, the other resting on her waist. Baekhyun is trailing kisses on her neck when their eyes meet, and wow, Junmyeon is kind of weird for staring at them instead of coming over to have a normal conversation.

He doesn’t expect Baekhyun to grin at him and leave the girl on the couch to go to the bathroom. Junmyeon follows him wordlessly inside. 

Baekhyun is waiting for him, propped against the sink. There’s a lit cigarette between his deft fingers and he locks eyes with Junmyeon as he takes in the smoke. “It doesn’t taste like anything, ugh.”

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon calls. “Hello.”

“Hey, Junmyeon. Did you need something? You were looking at me quite intently in the middle of the dance floor. Didn’t think that was your kind of scene. Maybe you wanted to dance?”

Dancing isn’t what Junmyeon has in mind but it is close. He wants to try to have something with Baekhyun he’s never let himself have. His parents never let him have. “Sure.”

Baekhyun’s trademark grin is on his face as he tugs Junmyeon by the arm outside the bathroom, cigarette thrown into the sink. Once they get lost into the crowd, Baekhyun throws his arms around Junmyeon’s neck, leaning in close. The song isn’t even something you can slow dance to but he indulges Baekhyun, lets him lead. He can still feel like everyone’s looking at them, at him… It’s unnerving. “I like your sweater today, Junmyeon.” But Baekhyun words overpower the speaker, the blasting music and the faint judging jeers he thinks he hears now drowned out as his hearing zooms in on Baekhyun’s voice. It sends a different sensation down Junmyeon’s spine, one he’s determined to accept it. 

“Your eyeliner looks pretty today too,” he teases back, finding courage in the way Baekhyun’s eyes twinkle under the dim lights as he laughs. “You look pretty.”

Baekhyun leans in, their lips a breath away from touching. “You’re a great flatterer, Junmyeon.” Baekhyun’s presses his lips against his and Junmyeon melts. He can’t compare the kiss to anything but Junmyeon thinks it’s the best, that the way Baekhyun tilts his head to kiss him more is the best, that Baekhyun’s now carding through his hair feels too good to last forever. 

When Baekhyun pulls back to ask him if he wants to head over to Baekhyun’s house, he doesn’t hesitate to say yes. The drive to Baekhyun’s house leads them out of town in Baekhyun’s motorcycle parked right outside the club. Junmyeon can hear the waves crashing as his grip on Baekhyun’s waist tightens. 

Baekhyun’s house is not what he’d expected. It’s a single floor place, not a lot of rooms and the bed is in the middle of the living room with wide windows overlooking the sea. It’s beautiful, full of personality in Junmyeon’s opinion. There are pictures on the walls of Baekhyun and some other people grinning ear to ear, some baby pictures too. He picks up the nearest frame and sees a pouting Baekhyun, face smudged with icing. 

“So, I take it you’re not a tourist? This feels very homey.”

“Nah, this is just a temporary space.” Baekhyun takes the frame from him and looks it over with a certain fondness, nostalgia maybe. When he places it back, he turns to Junmyeon and kisses him again, pulls him onto the bed. 

He’s lying on top of Baekhyun, enchanted by the way Baekhyun rocks against him. He’s a breathless, gasping mess when Baekhyun slides a hand under his sweater, tracing nonsensical lines on his body. “Baekhyun,” Junmyeon pants, and Baekhyun laughs, finds Junmyeon adorable as he wrecks him. 

 

 

“When did you know you were gay?” Baekhyun asks. “Because I’ve been gay all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever liked women the way I wanted to touch guys.”

“Weren’t you making out with a girl back there?” Baekhyun’s back is pressed against Junmyeon’s chest and even if he can’t clearly see Baekhyun’s face, it seems like he’s actually waiting for a serious answer. “Well, I realized when my mother asked me if I was dating the cute girl across the street from us because we had been coming home from school together. I actually liked her brother more. Tall, big ears, and a wide grin. He was loud, laughs with his whole body.”

“Did you ever tell her?”

“I… did. But it didn’t end well. So, how long have you been in San Junipero?” Junmyeon asks, whispering the question into the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. “This place is wonderful.”

“Three years. Ever since the doctor said I had cancer,” he kisses Junmyeon’s knuckles when Baekhyun feels his breath hitch. “But they said “six months” three years ago, so there’s that.”

“Won’t you be staying?”

“No. I… I won’t.”

“San Junipero is a great place.”

“It is.”

“What’s holding you back?”

“Well,” Baekhyun turns around in Junmyeon’s hold to face him. He kisses Junmyeon’s nose, but doesn’t smile. “I was married once. It wasn’t perfect but it was all I could ever ask for. My husband died a few years ago. San Junipero was a good place for us when he started getting sick. Alzheimer’s. My cancer was starting to develop but there was no stopping it. So we went here, had some fun until his time came up and he didn’t want to stay.”

“He didn’t want to stay?”

“San Junipero wasn’t a good place for him, Junmyeon. Sure it makes us feel less, numb the sensations, the physical pain, but forever stuck in this place… It scared him. I think.” Baekhyun sits up to light a cigarette, inhaling frantically. “This stupid cigarette doesn’t even burn.”

Junmyeon’s eyes wander to the clock next to the bed. A minute before twelve, it reads. 

“We have a minute left, Baekhyun.” 

“Kiss me.”

 

 

 

ONE WEEK LATER

 

Junmyeon hangs out at the bar with Minseok while he waits for Baekhyun to laugh his ear off. A week of not seeing each other makes Junmyeon’s heart ache but today he’ll meet Baekhyun so he can save off the emotional things for later. Baekhyun arrives a little late, he’s clad in all leather and when he stands next to Junmyeon the contrast to his pastel blue sweater is hilarious.

They go bar hopping, dancing, and filthily making out in bathrooms that Junmyeon lost count of how many bars and clubs they’ve gone to. It ends up with him in Baekhyun’s house though, curled into the mattress and just holding each other as they kiss and talk until time runs out.

 

 

 

MANY WEEKS LATER

 

“Can I come visit you, Baekhyun?” Junmyeon asks. “I think it’s time we meet?”

“I don’t think so Junmyeon. You wouldn’t like me if we met.” 

“I like you just fine, Baekhyun.”

“You say that now, but you’ll regret it.”

“I’m too old to have regrets now, Baekhyun.”

“Stop saying my name like that.”

“Like what, Baekhyun? Baekhyun? Baekhyun. _Baekhyun?_ ”

“Stop.”

 

 

 

ONE WEEK LATER

 

It’s 11:58 PM already and Baekhyun still hasn’t dropped by. Minseok gives him one last drink before he’s forced to leave.

 

 

 

MANY WEEKS LATER

 

When Junmyeon comes back from a few weeks away from San Junipero, he sees Baekhyun all cosy on his seat by Minseok’s bar. He should be angry. Baekhyun left him first, left for a month without him, no contact whatsoever.

“Junmyeon, I missed you,” is the first thing Baekhyun says to him. “I’m sorry for leaving like that.”

He sits beside Baekhyun, doesn’t order anything, doesn’t even say hi to Minseok. He’s so sad and angry and he missed Baekhyun too, so much. So fucking much.

“Where were you?” he didn’t mean for it to sound accusatory, but all the pain of being abandoned transitioned into this world too. 

“We need to talk somewhere else.” And somewhere else for Baekhyun is the damn beach and the damn waves and the pitch black waters. The cold sand digging in his feet doesn’t make him feel better, doesn’t water down the hurt.

“I took some time to think over San Junipero. Tried to live my life without it, but it hurts Junmyeon. It hurts so much without you. You make it a bit better, but I just can’t stay after either.”

When Junmyeon was younger his mother taught him to count backwards from ten, so that when he’d reach one, the emotions wouldn’t be as overwhelming. It helped. But even if he counted back from a hundred right now, it wouldn’t. 

“I shouldn’t have kept you around. I knew I shouldn’t because fuck, Junmyeon you’re not supposed to get attached to this place. To people here who’re dying.”

“Following what Yifan did… is that what you really want? Because you can try it here… it’s prettier here in the mornings.”

“Mornings? Junmyeon did you... you didn’t. You’re staying forever now?”

“Figured it would be better than what real life had to offer me. I was paralyzed, you know. Couldn’t move anything but my eyes for thirty years. San Junipero gave me another life, another chance at life I couldn’t have.” Junmyeon is crying now, and maybe it’s weird but he feels lighter after telling Baekhyun the truth.

“I’m sorry Junmyeon.”

“You’re not really sorry. You’ve never met me in real life. You never took the time to meet me in real life, Baekhyun because you were too caught up the past.”

“You have no right to tell me that Junmyeon! This is my life and whether I stayed or left, it doesn’t concern you! I may like you but I couldn’t do this to Yifan!” Baekhyun is kicking at the sand, digging his heels against it. “San Junipero is a fake paradise, and I can’t stand being here anymore.”

“It’s because Yifan isn’t here, isn’t it? You can do anything in San Junipero. Change clothes, change time periods, build houses, all in your mind. What’s stopping you from creating a Yifan in this life?”

“You didn’t think I tried?” Baekhyun shouts. He’s throwing sand at Junmyeon now, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “I tried bringing him back here. But he’s a ghost of the Yifan I knew because deep inside me I knew he didn’t want to stay.”

Junmyeon unclenches his fists, sad, angry, and heartbroken. Baekhyun had once made him feel beautiful things and now, all the ugly ones too. He can’t win against Yifan, even the memory of him. Baekhyun is sobbing against him now, and Junmyeon holds him until his time is up.

“I’ll… see you around, Baekhyun. Have a great rest of your life.”

 

 

 

ONE WEEK LATER

 

He see’s Baekhyun sitting on his usual spot at Minseok’s bar, but Junmyeon doesn’t trust himself to say hi yet. Maybe next week. He’s got forever after all, or rather, until Baekhyun passes.

 

 

 

 

-uhh so basically baek and junmyeon are old people in nursing/retirement homes who have access to this cool gadget that lets them dissociate from their body and into a world called San Junipero where they become the young versions of themselves  
-they meet only once a week and have a 12am deadline bcs usage of the device is limited to the patients to stop addiction  
-when patients pass over they can stay in san junipero upon request or just you know.. not.  
-staying in san junipero when you've passed doesn't mean you can't leave  
-watch bLACK MIRROR BCS IT'S AWESOME plus the ending there was happier than this one :(


End file.
